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Kiss de Girl

“What the head makes cloudy, the heart makes very clear.”

 

In the darkness, I could just make out, through the high rectangular pilothouse window, the profiles of two women. One was shouting and gesturing at the other, who stood motionless and said nothing. I moved in for a closer look.

 

The verbal assault suddenly stopped, and there was a moment of silence before the angry woman turned away. The silent one caught her upper arm, pulled her back abruptly, grabbed her forcefully by the jaw with her other hand, and pulled her very close. There was no resistance to the aggression. They stared into each other’s eyes.

 

I stepped onto Kalea’s deck for a closer look. The slight motion of the boat must have startled the two, and they abruptly turned their heads and stared at me, wide-eyed. When they realized who I was, they both seemed quite relieved. They turned once again to face each other. They smiled ... and hesitated for a moment. And then Jan and Clara kissed.

~~~

I flew home the following morning with a brief stopover of a few hours at LAX to meet with my friend Joey and fill him in on what happened on my trip. The image of Jan and Clara kissing on Kalea brought to mind the lyrics of Don Henley, ‘What the head makes cloudy, the heart makes very clear.’ Precious. Inspiration struck with a lightly edited version of Disney's Kiss the Girl:

There you see her, shouting at you, 'cross the way
She sure got a lot to say, but there's something about her
And you don't know why, but you're dying to try
You wanna kiss de girl

 

Yes, you want her, look at her, you know you do
Possible she wants you too, but there's no way to ask her
You can't say a word, not a single word
Go on and kiss de girl


Sha la la la la la, my oh my, it's either do or die
You gotta kiss de girl

Sha la la la la la, ain't that sad, ain't that a shame, too bad
Ya gonna miss de girl

Now's your moment, she got nothin' left to say

She 'bout to walk away, no time will be better

You gotta take the chance, a new romance

Go on and kiss de girl

Sha la la la la la, my oh my, it's either do or die
You gotta kiss de girl

Sha la la la la la, ain't that sad, ain't that a shame, too bad
Ya gonna miss de girl

 

I wondered how SlimC would spin this story when Kiss Me on Kalea aired next season. Perhaps he had scripted this exact outcome from the beginning! Isn’t that how most ‘reality’ shows actually work, after all — cast members pitted against each other in a contrived, scripted drama of odd alliances, backstabbing, unexpected turns, and dejected ‘losers’?

 

Just like WWE ‘professional wrestling,’ reality TV also thrives on the fake spectacle of ugly emotions, conflict, conquest, humiliation, and suffering. Like barfly ‘Schwartzy,’ I looked forward to the last reality show ever made and was just eager to get home now to start writing about this whole experience — and about Lua.

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​© 2020 Rich 'Rico' Leon